Wednesday, March 25, 2009

WARNING Nasty Alert, C's Birth Story

I learned I was expecting C on the day I received the lovely "time for your yearly examine" post card from the doctor who told me since I had so much trouble getting pregnant with W that at my age, FORTY-TWO at that time, chances were I would not get pregnant again. I listened to her and kinda half-assed used birth control. Well, it only takes once and this old egg was still just waiting for those little swimmers to come around, Ho, I mean Big HO!! So, 7 years ago I awoke at 12:00am to my water breaking. I woke up big Daddy and laid in bed a while waiting for contractions. None came but an overwhelming desire to get to the hospital did! I called the doc and he said go on in. It was 1:00am March 25th 2002. We arrived at the hospital at 1:20. Big Daddy decided I could walk across the parking lot and as I got in the drive to the ER a 10 contraction, and ya'll know what I mean, hit. I doubled over and he asked me if I could at least get out of the driveway. THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC!! I would have hit him upside the head with my mega-bag if I could have stood up. I made it in, gave the receptionist my info, panted, she finally got me a wheelchair to take me to a labor room. Half way there, I pushed up on the arms of the wheelchair and told she and BD, he(the baby) was coming. They just kept talking and lolly-gagging down the hall. When the poor little student LD nurse in the labor room asked me to get on the bed I said no, I can't, the baby is coming. She ran to get a nurse. Luckily for me, a nurse that had worked for my doc when I had D & W was a LD nurse that night. She took me to delivery, stood me up, put her hand "down there" and realized C's head was out, in my britches! She told me to breathe and give her 5 mins to get a resident, I said I couldn't wait. We breathed through that contraction still standing and then she and BD got my clothes off, yes C's head was still out, and got me in a gown and on the table. She went to the other side and tried to put her gloves on and told me to bend my knees and C came shooting out like a rocket. She got him with one gloved hand. It was then 1:29am. A 9 minute delivery. I was torn from front to back all the way around. It took the intern gazing at my twat 45 mins to get it all sewn up. My nurse asked me if I wanted to keep the clothes. Now please, we know all the blood, nastiness, yucky stuff that comes with having a baby. And it was all in those pants since I decided to birth him in them. Uh NO!!! Not taking those back, garbage please!! After BD rocked C the whole time the seamstress was having his way with me, C went to the nursery and I went to my room. It was 2:30 am and Big Daddy's remark was "ya know, you're one of those women that can be at work in a field, spit that baby out and just keep working" Gee's thanks, you can go home now!! That baby was beautiful and a celebrity from day one for making such a quick entrance!
C had a fast start and has never stopped. The other 2 boys were just breaking me in for him. He is funny, as you know, harder then hell to raise and loves me dearly. And I love him devotedly! There is not a day that goes by that he has not done something funny, interesting, bad and all 3 combined! I can not imagine our life without him. He wanted for his b-day a smoker(grill), a bag of charcoal, a fold up saw, Lego Star Wars for the Wii and I also got him "Bolt". A wide assortment. The presents are wrapped and hiding in the van until tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is his day and then his party is Saturday. And I am so blessed to have this child in my life!! Happy Birthday C!!

15 comments:

Amy B said...

Happy Birthday C...I hope you have a awesome party.

Shellmo said...

Wow - what a fast birth! I'm 42 right now and you just made me think I better be more careful w/ my BC - LOL!!!

Kori said...

Happy Birthday to C. Calob my youngest birthday is today. How funny is that. I had him in 2o minutes once I got to the Hospital.

Whitney said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Nana said...

Let's see you are giving me a hard time about Papa having frosting in his underpants ( no I didn't put it there, he wishes) anyway and you had a baby in your underpants. I think you win!!

♥georgie♥ said...

awwwww sweet! Happy BDay C!!!!

He And Me + 3 said...

Wow...what a story. NOthing like birthing a child in your pants. LOL
Happy Birthday C!
Have an awesome party and enjoy all your rockin gifts.
BTW...I have one of those boys. You know..a mixture of funny, bad, interesting. LOL I love him to death!

Patrice said...

Happy birthday C! Cute story lol loved it!

Becky said...

OUCH!

I mean Happy Birthday C!

Susy said...

Happy Birthday little man !! and good thing we don't remember the pain! Have a nice day with your son!

Alicia said...

Except for the gril and charcoal, those are all the things my boys would want for their bday! LOL

Happy Birthday C!!!

Amy said...

Happy "belated" Birthday C! Amazing story! :) That sounds a lot like my step-kids birthday list. Except he also wants a cell phone, scope for his rifle and a go-cart. I told him no, but here's a $100 gift card and go have fun!

nikkicrumpet said...

arrrgh I think blogger ate my comment :(

nikkicrumpet said...

Yup it did...and it was witty, funny, and insightful. But now I forgot everything I typed. Oh well....HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCKET MAN!

Angie's Spot said...

Happy bday C! I've told so many people about how you almost had him in the parking lot. No one ever believes me. Now they can hear it straight from you. :-)